2nd

C. is passed out on the couch –a throw-blanket across her body, a wet facecloth over her bald head. She had round two of the chemotherapy today.

The hair loss was expected, but a shock anyway. When it started coming out in clumps, C. asked me to cut her hair very short. I got her to do me first so she could see how long her hair would be. We hauled out the pet clippers we bought for Lucy, but hadn’t used yet, and went at it.

After the initial shock, I thought it looked pretty sexy-cool on her, and just the usual dopey-ass look on me.

A few days later she asked me to shave it entirely, the hair was coming out like a tiny pin hair cloud. her pillow looked like a cat had been sleeping on it. We were shocked all over again as I buzzed the remainder closely to the scalp. C.’s got a beautiful head so she can rock the bald look, although she does now have a red wig to satisfy my lifelong lust of gingers… at least that’s the motivation she had, I tell myself.

We knew more of what to expect this time, which in a way, is worse because we both anticipated the crushing nausea and tiredness that hits a few hours after the poison hits her system. Yeah there are meds, and yeah we have ‘em, and she took ‘em, and I’m sure it’d be much worse but crap, she’s a sick gal.

Once again I’m feeling helpless, while trying to be helpful and useful without hovering. I caught myself hovering a few times, then bolted to the basement to hack my annoyingly “upgraded” iPhone OS back to it’s regular non-annoying state…. another story.

Changes

We’ve finally made the decision to embrace a change of diet, something we’ve been moving toward over the last few years by reducing the things that cause us to feel crappy;  like sugar, some dairy, red meat while eating more whole grains, fish, leafy greens, etc.. I’ve not been certain I could commit because of my constant desire for roast lamb,  osso bucco, a great burger and pulled pork sandwiches. One makes sacrifices I guess. Salt n’ Vinegar chips are really the only junk food I have a problem with –I’d eat them day and night if I could.

This time of year is a great time to make adjustments to diet anyway, because the green stuff is so readily available, cheap and local. Our own garden is verdant with broccoli, salad green, kale, cabbage, shell peas, raspberries, strawberries, and zucchini. We’ve got the makings of a decent dinner just by walking into the backyard. When we talked about making this change, we discussed if we might be closing the barn door after the cow got out, but realised even now we have an opportunity to fight the rat-bastard that lurks in all of us.

I hope.